joking society

The Western society has built their culture on entertainment; people are expected to be humorous to the degree that some feel out of place if they don’t meet the level of “funniness” that it takes to be a cool person; funny has became equal to cool. To for sure that one is “funny” one resorts to a large variety of jokes about whatever is frequently on many peoples’ minds. For example, a lot of conservative Christians dislike President Obama, so they make “jokes” about him and sing the Obama Llama song in a high pitched sing-song voice (I realize they aren’t the only ones). Also many other people/groups bear the brunt of a hundreds of jokes that range from mild to extreme crudeness, insensitivity, and disrespect. Many a person who already feels left out of the popular group has the pleasure of over hearing an abundance of “emo” jokes about how cutters are “insane” and many things that are unnecessary to repeat. People, of course, never realize that the “jokes” they think are “funny” can often times hurt others—to the extent that a person who deals with problems like self injury (S.I.) might in fact injure themselves solely because of the hopelessness they feel because they know that they are the brunt of said “jokes”. Other bystanders may not actually make those “cutter jokes” but may have the reasoning that S.I. is extremely unreasonable and dangerous and assume that the people who deal with S.I. must know this and that the fact that it is dangerous and that it “hurts” should be enough knowledge for them to refrain in self-inducing wounds. Such reasoning is somewhat naïve; from what I have gathered from people who deal with S.I. and personal experience, I have come to the conclusion that yes, S.I. is a choice—almost everything is a choice—but it’s also a way of feeling alive. One would most likely exhibit a large amount of doubt in this conclusion but I don’t think it should be so farfetched to imagine. S.I. is a way of breaking through the numbness. Alienation and lack of popularity (whether or actual or perceived) breeds self-insecurity then results in mental and social wounds which over time, regret, and bitterness create an intense numbness. With numbness comes the overwhelming feeling that one is truly not alive—here they I believe they are right—and then the need to become alive arrives. Inflicting wounds on oneself is an option that seems illogical and not something to voluntary choose to anyone who has never been in the numb position. To those who are numb, I feel I can safely say they feel the need to induce something on themselves so they can prove to themselves that they are still capable of feeling some sort of pain or emotion, thus S.I, which often becomes a source of comfort. There is also the possibility that the hope of someone finding out by noticing the red lines will motivate a conversation of healing and counseling to come (reminding me of a girl who purposely broke her nail in the middle of class and proceeded to draw blood on her arm with the hope that the classmate sitting next to her would notice—no one in the entire class did anything if they even noticed). Once S.I. is practiced the feeling of being “alone” accelerates even more and the people involved in both S.I. or just merely depression are fully aware that to vocalize their insecurities and fears will/could bring out the before mentioned “emo/cutter jokes”. This assumption of ridicule hinders their potential recovery because no person they will keep all their problems to themselves because they don’t think anyone will listen. One should be aware that it is very easy to create and then believe this dangerous illusion that no one will/does care. Once the illusion is formed they can then believe that their actions only affect them because they are “completely alone” and that if they should choose to commit suicide they will be relieved of their pain and that is what matters. It is essential to note that the people who deal with S.I. do not necessarily have the desire to commit suicide—the misunderstanding that those who cut their arms are trying to commit suicide is hard to correct (when one cuts the main artery on the wrist it would be a suicide attempt but not just cutting the underside of the arm with a razor blade/other sharp object). Continual depression and S.I. leads to a larger sense of hopelessness which could easily result with the person involved, whether they have help or not, being so imbedded in this thought pattern that they refuse to take ant rescue line that might ever be offered. They may refuse it for the sub conscience desire to get the attention of the people trying to help them who are failing because the one needing rescued is unwilling—I myself am familiar with this position—there is ironic comfort and a great satisfaction in being “the patron saint of lost causes”. Even If the people who deal with S.I./depression should somehow get out of the cycle and “straighten out their lives” they still are easily succumb able to the cycle, so much so that sometimes all it takes is an image of a razor-induced wound to get them going—somewhat comparable to someone with a nicotine addiction, the sight of the cigarette is all it takes to light the desire.
The need to be thought as “funny” by one’s peers seem to push people to introduce as many of these popular opinions expressed in jokes or witty phrases in as many conversations as possible—whether in a group of friends or virtual strangers. People who deal with S.I. have a tendency to blend into the walls very easily and no, “emo people” are not necessarily the ones who wear lots of black and never smile—there have been many cases of people with S.I. who were the sweetest people in the group. As one who somewhat constantly battles depression and an occasional desire for S.I., please think about the jokes/comments you make before they come out of your mouth.


^ courtesy of TWLOHA's blog