Life is pain. That is possibly the only think I know to be true right now. There is enough pain in one minute to last a lifetime. My family is a wreck, I'm a wreck, my friends are wrecks and I don't belong here--moments like these makes that very clear. I don't care about my life--it is but a lost cause; all I want to do is sleep, sleep, and let sleep kill me. Sleep's death is miles better than maniacal depression death. God is still here, its true. I just don't know where. And I only understand one thing--man is but a vapor, and right now all I want to do is disappear like a vapor will. Because being nonexistent is way freer than being existent. Existence means pain. Pain means depression. Depression means being a wreck. Being a wreck means killing myself. But then, all I want is nonexistence anyway. (please don't take that as a suicidal statement)
"Invade my heart, Invade this broken town. . . two things you told me, you are strong, and you love me, yes, you love me. . . "
Tears may fall. Scars may form. Wounds may break back open. Vices may win temporarily. But I won't touch myself with a knife because I know deep inside that it won't help any.
Perhaps the most depressing aspect of it all is that tomorrow will come, and nothing will have changed. Hearts still break, people still die, and I will still wonder if I am indeed just another mere lost cause. Through it all, I will walk on because "it would be a lie to run away."
"Everything in this life can let you down. Right now, the chair I am sitting in could break and fail me. In a few minutes I can go up and sing on that stage to thousands of people, but when I get off the stage my health could fail and I could lose my voice forever and never be able to sing again. I have a beautiful wife, but I could go home and find out she has been unfaithful. You see, everything in this life can fail you. Everything in this life is finite, meaning it doesn't last, but only one thing is truly infinite and will last forever. Yes, everything in this life can and will let you down, but the beautiful thing about it is this, when everything lets you down in this world it leads you to the one thing that is truly beautiful..... the unfailing love of Jesus Christ." - Jon Foreman
"For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, not powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." - Romans 8:38-39
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